devotional

April 1, 2013

Death of “Someone Else”

You should have two testimonies – one of how God saved you and one of how God is using you. Where are you volunteering? Are you helping to expand God’s kingdom? Are you actively involved in the life and ministry of your church?

“Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” (Philippians 2:4 MSG) If you aren’t actively serving others, you are missing out on an important component of why you exist.

Locally and globally, members of Valley Fellowship Church (#ilovemychurch!) glorify Jesus Christ as they express love in practical ways. In 2011, we partnered with George Gonzalez and Amazon Xpeditions to provide clean water for a village off the Amazon River. I honor the men who built that water system in Atalaia, Brazil. They cared enough to give their time, their strength, their sweat to serve. What a team! That’s my father-in-law in the middle. They discovered that serving is rewarding.

Never forget that when you serve others you are actually serving Jesus Christ! “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24 NIV)

When you leave this world, what legacy will you leave?

We were all saddened to learn this week of the death of one our church’s most valuable members – Someone Else. Someone’s passing created a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Else has been with us for many years, and for every one of those years Someone did far more than the normal person’s share of the work.

Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results. “Someone Else can work with that group.”

Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone’s lips, Someone Else! “Let Someone Else do it” was a common refrain heard throughout the church.

It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the largest givers in the church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference.

Someone Else was a wonderful person, sometimes appearing super-human; but a person can only do so much. Were the truth known, everyone expected too much of Someone Else.

Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? Who is going to do the things that Someone Else did?

Remember, we can’t depend on Someone Else anymore. (Mark Stibbe and Darren Harvey-Regan, Basket of Gems, p. 29)

March 31, 2013

The Cross – Love Expressed

The cross was God’s expression of love long before it became a young woman’s necklace decoration. “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV)

The Cross is the Way of the Lost

The Cross is the Staff of the Lame

The Cross is the Guide of the Blind

The Cross is the Strength of the Weak

The Cross is the Hope of the Hopeless

The Cross is the Freedom of the Slaves

The Cross is the Water of the Seeds

The Cross is the Consolation of the Laborers

The Cross is the Source of Those who Seek Water

The Cross is the Cloth of the Naked. (African hymn, Basket of Gems, p. 45)

The cross was the scene of history’s greatest triumph. “Crosses are not the places where faith is killed but where it is proven.” (Calvin Miller, The Christ of Easter) Jesus bled and died and rose again!

“I know that you are looking for Jesus who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen.” (Matthew 28:5-6 NIV)
“He was shown to be the Son of God when He was raised from the dead by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 1:4 NLT)
“I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead.” (Ephesians 1:19-20a NLT)

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Jesus Christ is the Finisher of unfinished people experiencing unfinished lives doing unfinished labor in unfinished times. Let Him finish His work in you! God is your source and He is never without resources! As you celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, may His power impart health, provision, strength, hope, peace and joy.

Patti, Kimberlyn, and I celebrated this weekend with my sister and her family. We shared communion and prayer and lots and lots of food at my mom’s house. We also had a little fun with eggs on Saturday. Here are some pictures:

March 30, 2013

Extravagant Love

The Lord Jesus Christ manifested His superior power in creation, His extravagant love in the cross.

“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 4:10 NLT)
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8 NLT)
Heavenly Father’s love for us is so great that “He did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all.” (Romans 8:32 NLT)

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His love surpasses comprehension, a love stronger, higher, deeper, wider, greater, bigger, finer than any other. The chorus of “Your Love Is Deep” (Dan Collins, Jami Smith, and Susanna Bussey © 2001 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music) expresses my heart today:

Your love is deeper than my view of grace

Higher than this worldly place

Longer than this road I travel

Wider than the gap You filled

Deeper than my view of grace

Higher than this worldly place

Longer than this road I travel

Wider than the gap You filled

What is our response to this amazing love? We love one another.

“We love, because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19 NASB)
“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us.” (1 John 4:12 NLT)

Our love for God is displayed to the degree we show God’s love to other people. “God’s love is perfected not through our perception of it or our experience of it, but through our expression of it. God’s love reaches completion by the degree to which it is shared among us.” (Gary Burge, The NIV Application Commentary: Letters of John, p. 190)

“When we love one another, His love is perfected in us. This means that God’s love to us has achieved its goal. We are never intended to be terminals of God’s blessings, but channels only. God’s love is given to us, not that we might hoard it for ourselves, but that it might be poured out through us to others.” (Believer’s Bible Commentary, 1 John 4:1-21)

God’s extravagant love is still on display as we love one another. What a challenge! But Christ died that we might live for Him, through Him, and in His love.

March 29, 2013

God’s Plan + Your Obedience = Great Victory

The church where Patti grew to know and to love Jesus Christ is Central Assembly in Boise, Idaho. Patti and I were married there in 1987 and we were honored to have Pastor Ted Buck be a part of the ceremony. Patti’s parents are still members of Central. I appreciate the years of faithful ministry by Pastor Ted. Recently, he commented on how Achan’s subtle sin brought disaster right after Israel’s wonderful victory over Jericho. Pastor Ted shared:

1. When you do what God wants you to do and you do it His way, the way that He tells you to do it, you will have the result that God intended. You will be the recipient of a victory in your life courtesy of God’s power. Think of it like this:

God’s Plan + Your Obedience = Victorious Life

2. When you choose to do things your way, even just a little differently than how God said to do it, it will always usher some type of defeat or failure into your life. You will not like the result.

God has good plans in mind for you today, but yielded obedience is necessary. “I am grateful that God always makes it possible for Christ to lead us to victory. God also helps us spread the knowledge about Christ everywhere, and this knowledge is like the smell of perfume.” (2 Corinthians 2:14 CEV) As you yield to God’s plan with obedience, you will enjoy the blessed life prepared for you.

Ultimately, God’s master work, His Will is for you to conform to the image of Christ: “God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son.” (Romans 8:29 MSG) God is THE Master Artist and “we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

Michelangelo is a name synonymous with artistic aptitude. Yet of the forty-four sculptures he attempted, he finished only fourteen (Ken Gire, Shaped by the Cross, p. 115).

Then there is the final work of his life, the Rondanini Pietà, on which he worked for ten years. [Giorgio] Vasari [a Michelangelo contemporary] writes that Michelangelo “ended up breaking the block, probably because the latter was full of impurities and so hard that sparks flew from under his chisel.” The sculpture was rescued by a servant and survives to this day. It bears the marks of Michelangelo’s chisel, but none of the beauty of his earlier work Pietà. . . .

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The same dilemma exists for those of us who are the work of God’s hands. In an attempt to free the image of Christ that is encased with the stone of the self, God begins chipping away everything that isn’t Jesus. The stone of our lives either submits to the chipping or it resists.

If it submits, features of the Savior begin to emerge from our life. If it submits long enough, the Savior himself emerges. If, however, it resists, and continues to resist, there will come a day when God will let the stone be stone.

C. S. Lewis said as much when he stated that there are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, “Okay, go ahead and have it your way.” (Shaped by the Cross, p. 116).

I pray that you will surrender to God’s plan and live in obedience. Victory and Christlikeness is God’s will for you. Don’t settle for less.

When you finish reading today’s blog, I encourage you to go and watch “God’s Chisel”. I enjoy the humor and lessons of TheSkitGuys and “God’s Chisel” communicates!

March 28, 2013

Audience of One

Are you living before One Audience – the Lord Jesus Christ? To what audience are you playing? You will either play to an Audience of One or to an audience of many. Do you desire to please God or impress people?

When you aren’t seeking to be noticed or publicized or praised, you are released to accomplish great things for God’s Kingdom. Perhaps that is reason Valley Fellowship Church has made such a significant impact – we want to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ in the Tennessee Valley and around the world. We don’t do what we do to get praise for ourselves. We want to see Jesus exalted!

Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth, but His essential audience was not people who surrounded Him. Jesus said, “I always do the things that are pleasing to Him [Heavenly Father].” (John 8:29b NASB) Jesus wasn’t interested in crowd approval (John 5:44) and He rebuked His listeners, “How could you possibly believe? You like to have your friends praise you, and you don’t care about praise that the only God can give!” (John 5:44 CEV)

“Most of us, whether we are aware of it or not, do things with an eye to the approval of some audience or other. The question is not whether we have an audience but which audience we have. . . . A life lived listening to the decisive call of God is a life lived before one audience that trumps all others – the Audience of One.” (Os Guinness, The Call, p. 70)

Paul was a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser. I agree with Kent Hughes assessment that “Paul would have loved Eric Liddell—the runner who placed spiritual conviction and loyalty to Christ above Olympic or national glory!” (Acts: The Church Afire, p. 289) Paul lived his life before an Audience of One. Consider his words:

“We do not aim to please men, but to please God who knows us through and through.” (1 Thessalonians 2:4 PHILLIPS)
“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” (Galatians 1:10 NLT)
“Be assured that when we speak to you we’re not after crowd approval—only God approval.” (1 Thessalonians 2:4 MSG)

The Gospel of John criticizes the leaders of Jesus’ day who “were more concerned about what people thought of them than about what God thought of them.” (John 12:43 GW) Are you playing your life before an Audience of One, or playing before many: your peers, your neighbors, your mentors, your family? Who you choose as your audience has a tremendous impact upon your life.

People adjust their lifestyle based upon the people around them. Children attune their own tastes, pursuing parental praise. Employees perform for a boss, or will be fired. Students adjust to the wishes of a teacher. Writers heed their readers, putting pen to what sells. Basketball players respond to fans, drawing energy, heart to play. Teenagers play to their peers, claiming to be an individual, yet listening to what others listen, dressing comparably to their friends, even styling their hair like their cliché. Have you noticed how your audience shapes your life?

The Puritans lived as if they had swallowed gyroscopes; we modern Christians live as if we have swallowed Gallup polls. Or as Martin Luther King wrote in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, “in those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society.” Leaders or panderers? Gyroscope or Gallup poll? Thermostat or thermometer? Only those who practice the presence of the Audience of One can hope to attain the former and escape the latter. (The Call, p. 73)

To live before an Audience of One is to consider what He thinks as what counts the most. Satisfying life results from pleasing God, not pouring out your energy for temporal praise. Seeking to live for an Audience of One — the Lord Jesus Christ —liberates you from operating out of a response to what others say about you. Make the decision now to surrender your life and your lifestyle to the Lord. Ultimate success is not fame, fortune, or power, but hearing God’s commendation, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”

March 27, 2013

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, Nobody

What makes you say, “Why doesn’t someone do something about this?” Ask God what to do about it. Real ministry happens when you get your hands dirty and practically serve people where they live.

“This is a story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it. But Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!” (Mark Stibbe and Darren Harvey-Regan, Basket of Gems, p. 29)

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13 NLT)

Thanks Barry, Daniel, Brock, and Jerry. These guys came to SERVE at the Valley Fellowship 2013 Egg Hunt. They were NOT alone because Valley Fellowship Church loves God and loves people. Praise the Lord for my church family! #ilovemychurch

March 26, 2013

4 REASONS TO RESPECT EVERYONE

A hallmark of Jesus’ teaching is His command that the respectful behavior of His followers must transcend that of non-believers. Our respect is first and foremost directed to the Lord, as John Chrysostom reminds, “We must not mind insulting men, if by respecting them we offend God.” (Archbishop of Constantinople who lived 349–407 AD) Love and respect the Lord FIRST, but the second of the great commandments is “love your neighbor” (Mark 12:29-31).

I want to fulfill His command, loving God and people, but I have figured out that some people are easier to love than others. Honestly, isn’t it that way for you? God blessed me with a great wife and great daughters, so it’s not hard to love and to respect them. Both of my daughters are awesome! What’s not to love and respect? For example, Rozy is completing masters classes during her junior year, representing the ORU School of Education, serving as a chaplain this year – head chaplain next year, leading worship, loving missions. Yes, it’s easy to respect her.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus calls us to go far beyond what common people would expect. Jesus commands, “Love your family.” Okay, a little effort, I can do that. “Love your neighbors.” Hmm, a little harder, but I don’t have to see them everyday. “Love those who treat you well.” Alright, now You’re talking, Jesus – I will do that! “Love your enemies.” Do what? Are you serious, Jesus? I mean . . . come on!

You have heard people say, “Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.” But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. If you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for that? Even tax collectors love their friends. If you greet only your friends, what’s so great about that? Don’t even unbelievers do that? But you must always act like your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:43-48 CEV)

If anyone should show proper respect in our modern society, it should be Christ-followers. The scope of a disciple’s respect is quite large. We must respect EVERYONE! That’s exactly what God’s Word commands.

“Show proper respect to everyone.” (1 Peter 2:17 NIV)

Unfortunately, rude behavior by church-going folk is too often exhibited on Sunday afternoons at local restaurants. Several restaurant servers have expressed to me their displeasure of working Sunday after church because the church crowd tips so poorly. “Christians” can be loud, demanding, disrespectful, impatient, and stingy with tips. Could the stinginess be a carry-over attitude from the morning offering?

To live in fear of God means that we live before God and the rest of reality in such a way that there is never contempt within us. We take nothing for granted, everything as a gift. We have respect. We are always poised for surprise before the mystery of God, others, and ourselves. All boredom and contempt is an infallible sign that we have fallen out of a healthy fear of God. (Ronald Rolheiser, The Shattered Lantern, 2004, p. 117)

Why should you show respect? I bet you could identify thousands of reasons, but here are four excellent reasons for showing respect to every person.

#1 God created people.

Humans beings are created by God. The Book of Genesis is clear that out of all of creation only humanity is made in the image of God. The psalmist praised the Lord, “You (God) made man inferior only to yourself; you crowned him with glory and honor.” (Psalm 8:5)

Sometimes it’s hard for us to look beyond the fallen part of humanity – carnal, sinful, selfish, rude individuals – to see the image of God in people. There are people who do worthless things, but there are no worthless people. There are people who do wrong actions but they are all of value to God. Even the most unlovable person is loved by God.

#2 Jesus Christ died for people.
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The cross shows how much people matter to God. God made them, Christ died for them. No matter what you think; whether you like them or not; that individual is someone for whom Christ died. John 3:16 expresses God’s heart, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (NIV).” With His precious blood Christ paid the price to save humans. You may not think much about somebody, but God does. He considers people worth the price of His sacrifice. “Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us.”(Romans 5:8 PHILLIPS)

He thinks you were worth the effort. “For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.” (1 Corinthians 5:7b NIV) Jesus Christ died for you, but He also rose again. His resurrected life is now available to empower you to live in Him. Everyday, we can celebrate the Festival (Passover) when we live Christlike lives (1 Corinthians 5:8).

#3 Respect shows you really know God.

Respect for people is proof that you know God. “God is love, and anyone who doesn’t love others has never known him.” (1 John 4:8 CEV) God is love and if you know God then you’re going to fill your life with love. “It isn’t rude.” (1 Corinthians 13:5a GW) Love treats people with respect.

If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both. (1 John 4:20-21 MSG)

#4 You get back what you give out.

Seedtime and harvest, the law of reciprocity, seedfaith living – you reap what you plant. “A man’s harvest in life will depend entirely on what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7 PHILLIPS) The old proverb is true: “Whatever goes around comes around.” For every kick there is a kick back.

Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8 MSG)

The Bible clearly sets you up – whatever you want in life, you give out and you’ll get back. If you want people to smile at you, you smile at them. If you want to be respected, treat other people with respect. If you want to be treated and valued with dignity, treat other people with value and dignity.

“You do yourself a favor when you are kind.” (Proverbs 11:17a GNT) Rudeness is expensive. “Cruel people will be rewarded with trouble.” (Proverbs 11:17b ERV) Do want respect? Give respect. Show respect and receive respect. Respect the people around you, the people over you, EVERYONE!

March 25, 2013

How to Exercise Authority Without Being Authoritarian

Authority can be found but not the way most of the world goes after it. You don’t push others down for the Lord to lift you up. Jesus Christ models servant leadership; He turns worldly power systems and values upside-down. Christ-followers are not to adopt the “king-of-the-mountain” mentality of worldly leadership.

You have witnessed a boss, a coach, a politician, a policeman, or a parent “throw their weight around” and you understand the reality “when people get a little power how quickly it goes to their heads” (Mark 10:42 MSG). Perhaps, your heart cried out like the writer of Ecclesiastes 4:1 (NIRV), “I looked and saw how much people were suffering on this earth. I saw the tears of those who are suffering . . . Power is on the side of those who beat them down. Those who are suffering don’t have anyone to comfort them.”

But Christ’s call to leadership is counter-cultural. You ARE to be a leader – one who exercises authority without becoming authoritarian.

You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:42-45 NLT)

God’s Word warns, “Among leaders who lack insight, abuse abounds.” (Proverbs 28:16a MSG) God expects His delegated authority to be exercised with wisdom, not abuse. In 10 Choices: A Proven Plan to Change Your Life Forever, Chicago pastor James MacDonald offers tips for evaluating how we are handling the authority entrusted to us:

I know I’m abusing my authority when I keep reminding people of my title and my position.
I know I’m abusing my authority when I expect or demand privilege.
I know I’m abusing my authority when I become comfortable with personal praise.
I know I’m abusing my authority when I resent, react, or am threatened by challenges to my authority.
I know I’m abusing my authority when I’m unmoved by an individual. (p. 227-230)

Cherish the nature of the authority entrusted to you. As you esteem God’s leadership and respect your co-laborers in God’s House, a dimension of authority is entrusted to you. You must exercise this empowerment with Godly wisdom. With recognition of God’s call, you seriously and humbly undertake service with appreciation of Christ as the head of the body.

How do you exercise authority without becoming authoritarian?

#1 Serve – Don’t Decree.

You aren’t called to dominate and dictate.“If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35 NIV)

Leadership is not getting above others in prestige and power. It is servantship – getting down under the load of human need to bear it sacrificially and redemptively. According to this standard, the measure of greatness is not prominence but humility, not excellence but faithfulness, not authority but obedience, not being served but service… leadership is servantship. (Gaines S. Dobbins, Learning to Lead, 1968, p. 31)

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Don’t look down on others.“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.” (Romans 12:3 NIV)

Even though we had some standing as Christ’s apostles, we never threw our weight around or tried to come across as important, with you or anyone else. We weren’t aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. (1 Thessalonians 2:6-7 MSG)

#3 Model – Don’t Dominate.

“Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example.” (1 Peter 5:3 NLT) Great leadership is not lording-over or striving for superiority, for leadership involves sacrifice and service. Paul lived this, “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.” (Philippians 3:17 NIV)

#4 Associate – Don’t Strut.

Don’t be stuck-up or toffee-nosed. “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” (Romans 12:10 NLT) We are equal in Christ. One is not superior to another. Male, female, young, old, whatever race or background – we share communion and fellowship in ONE Body.

#5 Mutually Submit – Don’t Intimidate.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21 NIV) Coercive bullying is not a spiritual gift, even if at times it looks as if something is accomplished. Strong-arming does not pay heavenly dividends and intimidation will not yield lasting results.

Living under authority necessitates accountability to those who have placed you in your position – your leaders and your Lord. Jesus Christ is Lord! Respect the distinction between Lordship and leadership!

Are you leading and influencing others in a direction which furthers God’s Kingdom purposes?

March 24, 2013

ADDICTED to HARMFUL WORDS?

Every one of us can testify to the impact of words. Every one of us has been inspired by uplifting words, and every one of us has experienced the pain of words carelessly spoken.

Unless you, or someone dear to you, have been the victim of terrible physical violence, chances are the worst pains you have suffered in life have come from words used cruelly – from ego-destroying criticism, excessive anger, sarcasm, public and private humiliation, hurtful nicknames, betrayal of secrets, rumors and malicious gossip. (Joseph Telushkin, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, 1996, p. xviii)

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21 MSG)

The story is told of an elderly mother during a hospital stay. Per normal procedure, she was asked if she was allergic to anything. She confessed to allergic reactions to certain types of fruit, specifically bananas. The nurse compiled the information and made the appropriate notation on the woman’s wristband. Several hours later, the lady’s grown daughter angrily stormed the nurse’s station demanding, “Who’s responsible for labeling my mother ‘bananas’?

As kids, we joked that sticks and stones were hurtful, but we all knew the truth – words are powerful. Why as adults do we so easily excuse sarcasm, criticism, and negativity? We playfully joke with one another, but do we realize the potency of our words?

Careless words bite! Are you addicted to harmful words? Author Joseph Telushkin puts that question into courageous perspective:

Over the past decade, whenever I have lectured throughout the country on “Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well,” I’ve asked my listeners if they can go for twenty-four hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, anybody.

Invariably, a minority raise their hands signifying yes, some people laugh, while quite a large number call out, “No!”

“All of you who can’t answer yes,” I respond, “must recognize how serious a problem you have. Because if I asked you to go for twenty-four hours without drinking liquor, and you said, ‘I can’t do that,’ I’d tell you, ‘Then you must recognize that you’re an alcoholic.’ And if I asked you to go for twenty-four hours without smoking a cigarette, and you said, ‘That’ impossible,’ that would mean that you’re addicted to nicotine.’ Similarly, if you can’t go for twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then you’ve lost control over your tongue. (Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, p. xvii)

“Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” (Matthew 12:36-37 MSG)

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18 NIV84)

The unknown writer of the poem below echoes the wisdom of the ancients:

“The boneless tongue, so small and weak,
Can crush and kill,” declares the Greek.
“The tongue destroys a greater horde,”
The Turk asserts, “than does the sword.”
The Persian proverb wisely saith,
“A lengthy tongue—an early death!”
Or sometimes takes this form instead,
“Don’t let your tongue cut off your head.”
“The tongue can speak a word whose speed,”
Say the Chinese, “outstrips the steed.”
The Arab sages said in part,
“The tongue’s great storehouse is the heart.”
From Hebrew was the maxim sprung.
“Thy feet should slip, but ne’er the tongue.”
The sacred writer crowns the whole,
“Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.” (unknown, referenced in Spurgeon’s The Salt Cellars)

March 23, 2013

Teach Kids RESPECT

Respect is a virtue desperately needed in today’s world of rudeness. Its not just Aretha Franklin wishing for R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Rudeness at work is rampant, and it’s on the rise. Over the past 14 years we’ve polled thousands of workers about how they’re treated on the job, and 98 percent have reported experiencing uncivil behavior. In 2011 half said they were treated rudely [at work] at least once a week. [That’s a 100 percent increase from 1998.] (Christian Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January-February 2013)

Through a poll of 800 managers and employees they also discovered the costs of incivility. Among workers who have been on the receiving end of incivility:

48 percent decreased their work effort

47 percent decreased the time spent at work

80 percent lost work worrying about the incident

78 percent said their commitment to the organization declined

12 percent said they left their job because of the uncivil treatment

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The article in Harvard Business Review concluded with the following warning about incivility: “Just one habitually offensive employee critically positioned in your organization can cost you dearly in lost employees, lost customers, and lost productivity.” Rudeness is an issue that must be addressed, but teaching respect to adults is not much more difficult than teaching respect to children.

Parents must teach respect and pass along respect for authority to their children, since the home is the foundation for learning to respect authority. A child’s homelife either strengthens or weakens respect for authority and respect for people and respect for themselves. As a missionary kid in Africa and Taiwan, I learned the importance of respect not only toward authority, but for culture, language, people, and the Gospel.

How do you pass along the virtue of respect to your children? Here are seven ideas to help you.

#1 Be an example to your children by your speech, attitudes, and actions.

The respect you model will be followed; the disrespect you model will be followed. Love your spouse and respect your spouse’s authority. My parents modeled respect for authority, and my life benefited from those important lessons.

#2 Teach your children to respect YOUR authority.

You powerfully equip your kids to respect others when you teach them to respect your authority. If God gave you children, then He holds you responsible to act like a parent.

#3 Make time to train your family spiritually.

Spend time with your family as a group and make time for one-on-one, face-to-face encounters with your child. Don’t pass off your responsibility to be spiritually mature. Be the parent, the spiritual leader, of your home. A leader “must be in control of their own families, and they must see that their children are obedient and always respectful.” (1 Timothy 3:4 CEV) Operate your household with authority and love.

#4 Don’t allow unresolved conflicts or strained relationships to fester or boil.

You don’t want your prayers blocked or cut off (1 Peter 3:7). Don’t provoke your children to anger by your own harshness, unfairness, or insecurity.

#5 Discipline in love.

“A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.” (Proverbs 13:24 MSG) Discipline immediately and consistently. “Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.” (Ephesians 6:4 GNT)

#6 Get a job or increase your income to support your children.

Provide the food and care your children need. Attend to the needs of your family. “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 NIV)

#7 Pray for your family daily, multiple times per day.

You know you ought to pray, you know God answers prayer, but are you actually praying for family? Lay hands on your kids and bless them before they leave for school or any activity. Your prayer cover inspires respect. Pray!

Evaluate yourself and remove hindrances to your parental leadership. You have the responsibility of teaching your children to respect authority. Your leadership at home is vital. The Maxwell Leadership Bible (p. 1442) alliterates six categories, six questions for evaluating your leadership in your home:

Initiative: Do I give direction and take responsibility for my primary relationships?
Intimacy: Do I experience intimacy with God and others through open conversation?
Influence: Do I exercise Biblical influence by encouraging and developing others?
Integrity: Do I lead an honest life, unashamed of who I am when no one is looking?
Identity: Am I secure in who I am in Christ? Or am I defensive?
Inner Character: Do I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in my life, including self-discipline?

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