Growing Champions

Tonight, Valley Fellowship Church was  honored to have Dr. Chris Royael teaching on “GROWING CHAMPIONS: Parenting on Purpose.” Dr. Chris was inspirational and informative, and I want to share my notes and ideas from today.

Dr. Chris (M.Div and Doctorate of Education) spent 17 years at Oral Roberts University where he served in the Student Life Department as the Dean of Men mentoring young men and women. Since 2005, he has led Faith Academy, a K-12 school with 330 students in Victoria, Texas. Dr. Chris is a member of the ICAA Accreditation Commission and an accreditation site-team chairperson.  An ordained minister at Faith Family Church (Victoria, TX), he speaks regularly.

God has a plan for every child. Parents, a battle is raging for the destinies of our children. A war rages for the hearts and minds of our children. Everyday our children are being molded and formed – spiritually, socially, academically, and even sexually. We cannot afford to skip our opportunity to grow champion children. If we step out, someone else will step into our role. God wants everyone of us to pull together and intentionally shape the next generation. We can impact destiny if we capture the hearts and minds of kids.

Raising Godly children who love the Lord and are serving Him takes a lot of work, grace, and strength from the Lord. Parents, we must focus on OUR opportunities, our responsibilities—the things we can control.  With single-parent-families and families with two full-time jobs, too many parents are relinquishing their most important priority and expecting a school or a church group to fulfill the parenting responsibility. VFCA (Christian education and schools) are great partners for parents, but a school can never replace parenting by parents. We will not make excuses, but work to find solutions; we will not give away our influence or limit God’s power.

Young people will be shaped and molded. The question is: BY WHOM and FOR WHAT PURPOSE? It doesn’t matter if you feel overwhelmed or inadequate or disqualified by past mistakes, God entrusted that child to you for you to parent that child. The single greatest influence on a child’s life – more than peers, more than teachers – is still parents. What will your influence be?

You are the perfect parent for that child. God gave that child to you. Think of the example of Abraham. God “settled on him,” picked Abraham to be Isaac’s daddy.

Abraham is going to become a large & strong nation; all the nations of the world are going to find themselves blessed through him. Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him. (Genesis 18:18-19 MSG)

Abraham wasn’t perfect (no parent is) and he made plenty of mistakes, but Abraham managed to communicate that God was supremely important. Parents’ NUMBER ONE PRIORITY: Create a family environment where God is SUPREME. Sports, housework, watching tv, relationships, every part of living should all be saturated by God’s influence. Every day, every place, every opportunity is an ALTAR to encounter God & serve Him.  “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering” (Romans 12:1b MSG).

Parents, we desperately need to:

• TEACH our kids what a fully-devoted life looks like. Not just what, but why.
• TRAIN them to follow God wholeheartedly. Not just why, but how.

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We teach and train our kids best when we INVOLVE them in our faith journey. There is a huge difference between talking about something and actually doing it. “Tell me; I’ll forget. Show me; I may remember. Involve me and I’ll understand.” Are you taking your kids along with you in your faith journey? Hebrews chapter eleven highlights that Abraham journeyed forward not knowing where he was going, but willing to take the journey with God. Sometimes we aren’t sure of what we are doing, but God is with us on the way. Yes, Abraham made mistakes, but he did include his son on his faith journey.

#1  To grow champions, BE INTENTIONAL AND CONSISTENT.

• Pray
• Plan for growth
• Persist

We need to form genuine relationships with our children, speak uplifting words,  communicate we are for them, express care and personal interest, and call our children to a higher standard of excellence and maturity.

Paul likens discipleship to giving birth, “Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives” (Galatians 4:19 NLT). There are joys and excitement when the baby kicks, but there are also nights when you can’t sleep, when the demands of that new child become inconvenient, uncomfortable, and work. 

#2 To grow champions, use LIFE-ORIENTED discipleship.

Effective discipleship is life-oriented. If we want our children to follow God, we must make GOd a part of our everyday experiences. Kids need to see the big picture as they witness how God relates to every aspect of life – not just church-related life. We live in a real world with real issues and real concerns. Parenting includes preparing children for all the choices they will be making and ensuring that they are ready to handle them.

Seize the “teachable moments.” When you get in the minivan, pray on the way to school. When you get home, talk to your kids BEYOND yes and no answers. When you put your kids to bed, pray and talk and connect with them. Process life with your children.

Don’t ignore or sidestep the real questions of life. Tough questions don’t need to be avoided but can provide a wonderful opportunity to teach a Biblical worldview. If you don’t answer your child’s question, someone else will. Pause that show and talk about what you just saw. You don’t have to know all the answers. Admit you don’t know, but don’t let youtube give “the talk” to your kids. Process the hard questions; learn together if necessary; call a pastor or a Godly advisor.

Step time with your kids. Cultivation only happens when the gardener is with the garden.

Attention, Israel! God, our God! God the one and only! Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 MSG)

#3 To grow champions, let your actions COMMUNICATE Godly values and beliefs.

Actions communicate values and beliefs. Our lives communicate values and validate beliefs. What we do more than anything else indicates what we believe. Kids follow the example of parents.

The apostle Paul understood the importance of example, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV). Our standard is based not on what others do or don’t do, not on the lowest common denominator with another family; our standard is Jesus Christ and His presence in our lives.

American humorist Will Rogers wisely quipped, “Peoples’ minds are changed through observation and not argument.” What are you kids seeing you do? What kind of faith-trail are you leaving for them to follow? Consider the following statistics:

• 89% of what we learn comes from what we SEE
• 10% from what we HEAR
• 1% through other senses

Follow the leader is not just a game that kids play. Following the leader is the way children embrace the values of people they trust (whether right or wrong). What are your children seeing you do? We don’t need to send mixed-messages to children. Everything you do and everything you are is the model for kids.

#4 To grow champions, work your spiritual CORE.

Have you developed your own spiritual life? Every athlete knows the importance of having a strong core, the source of your power and strength. Well, your core is the REAL you. Everything you do flows out of who you are. Your ability to influence others is directly related to the confidence people place in your credibility. We need to be disciplined in our own lives BEFORE we can be effective in others’ lives. WITHOUT a solid core, there is no compass, no consistency and no credibility. Core exercises include Bible reading, prayer, connecting, serving, giving, and sharing.

“What we live by we impart.” (Augustine)