Why do I sometimes actually enjoy arguing? Why do I want to use argumentative tones when Patti and I actually agree about the subject we are discussing? Why do I pick at a point of contention instead of just letting the matter go? Why do I let myself argue like a fool?
“Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.” (Proverbs 20:3 NLT)
Folks who knew me in high school and college probably recall that I liked to argue. Several jokingly chided me, “You should be a lawyer, argue all you want then.” I confess, the less sound my argument, the louder I tended to talk. My enjoyment of successful arguing my viewpoint was advantageous in FFA (yes, I was a “Future Farmer of America”) Parliamentary Procedure competitions, FBLA speech contests, and college debates. Yes, that picture below is of me in high school.
Liking to talk is not necessarily a bad thing for a “preacher” to enjoy. But wisdom suggests:
“Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.” (2 Timothy 2:23-24 NLT)
I know what God’s Word says about avoiding quarreling, but I too often slide right into it. In the middle of the discussion, why do I forget that I am not the only person who has a right to his or her own stupid opinion?
Why do I feel the need to argue a point that I know I will not change? In the late 1800’s, American romantic poet James Russell Lowell advised, “There is no good in arguing with the inevitable. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.”
I have noticed that I tend to be more argumentative when I am tired or don’t feel well. Unfortunately, that was the case for me yesterday afternoon. Sinus pressure pinpointed over my left eye shortened my “grace” limit. My wife and daughters pointed out what I was doing. Patti strongly suggested, “Greg, take something for that headache!” I wish I could replay some of yesterday afternoon, but that is NOT the way life works.
I wish I could blame my argumentative nature on allergy irritations! But, feeling poorly is NOT an excuse for being argumentative. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. Why can’t I just let some matters slide? I wish I could click an undo button for some of my conversations. Wow, Greg, when will you learn to shut up?
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For all the wants which disturb human life, which make us uneasy to ourselves, quarrelsome with others, and unthankful to God, which weary us in vain labors and foolish anxieties, which carry us from project to project, from place to place in a poor pursuit of we don’t know what, are the wants which neither God, nor nature, nor reason hath subjected us to, but are solely infused into us by pride, envy, ambition, and covetousness. (William Law: A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life and the Spirit of Love, p. 153)
“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?” (James 4:1 NLT)
Ouch! I think James nailed me there. Why do I argue unnecessarily? Because there is pride, stubbornness, and self-centered desires that still need to be weeded out of my life. I still need to yield areas of my mind, will, and emotions to Christ’s Lordship.
I need to clothe myself “with the new [spiritual self], which is [ever in the process of being] renewed and remolded into [fuller and more perfect knowledge upon] knowledge after the image (the likeness) of Him Who created it.” (Colossians 3:10 AMP) I am in need of renewal. Lord, help me!
LEGEND OF THE QUAIL: The quail would have been happy except for their enemy. The hunter imitated the sound of a quail, gathering the covey together. As they loitered about, he threw his net over them. The birds struggled, but were eventually placed into his hunting basket and carried off to market.
One wise quail, observing this ordeal, offered, “Brothers, I have a plan. If the hunter casts his net over us, we should each put our head into a section of net and begin to flap our wings. Together we can lift the net and fly away with it.” All the birds agreed. When the fowler threw his net upon the covey, they organized their efforts and flew off with his net.
Several months later the hunter decided to again try his luck at capturing some game to sell at the market. After the luring call was given, the birds came together. This time the birds quarreled with one another over who was lifting the most and which bird would be in the middle of the net. The fowler took advantage of their distraction and quickly gathered up his net, capturing all the birds.
At times all our finger-pointing and bickering ends up doing us all in and nothing is accomplished. If we find ourselves constantly amidst controversy and strife, we need to take a good hard look at ourselves. What are we really fighting over? How is God being glorified? (James Grassi, Wading Through the Chaos, p. 58-59.)
