Every one of us can testify to the impact of words. Every one of us has been inspired by uplifting words, and every one of us has experienced the pain of words carelessly spoken.
Unless you, or someone dear to you, have been the victim of terrible physical violence, chances are the worst pains you have suffered in life have come from words used cruelly – from ego-destroying criticism, excessive anger, sarcasm, public and private humiliation, hurtful nicknames, betrayal of secrets, rumors and malicious gossip. (Joseph Telushkin, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, 1996, p. xviii)
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (Proverbs 18:21 MSG)
The story is told of an elderly mother during a hospital stay. Per normal procedure, she was asked if she was allergic to anything. She confessed to allergic reactions to certain types of fruit, specifically bananas. The nurse compiled the information and made the appropriate notation on the woman’s wristband. Several hours later, the lady’s grown daughter angrily stormed the nurse’s station demanding, “Who’s responsible for labeling my mother ‘bananas’?
As kids, we joked that sticks and stones were hurtful, but we all knew the truth – words are powerful. Why as adults do we so easily excuse sarcasm, criticism, and negativity? We playfully joke with one another, but do we realize the potency of our words?
Careless words bite! Are you addicted to harmful words? Author Joseph Telushkin puts that question into courageous perspective:
Over the past decade, whenever I have lectured throughout the country on “Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well,” I’ve asked my listeners if they can go for twenty-four hours without saying any unkind words about, or to, anybody.
Invariably, a minority raise their hands signifying yes, some people laugh, while quite a large number call out, “No!”
“All of you who can’t answer yes,” I respond, “must recognize how serious a problem you have. Because if I asked you to go for twenty-four hours without drinking liquor, and you said, ‘I can’t do that,’ I’d tell you, ‘Then you must recognize that you’re an alcoholic.’ And if I asked you to go for twenty-four hours without smoking a cigarette, and you said, ‘That’ impossible,’ that would mean that you’re addicted to nicotine.’ Similarly, if you can’t go for twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then you’ve lost control over your tongue. (Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, p. xvii)
“Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” (Matthew 12:36-37 MSG)
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18 NIV84)
The unknown writer of the poem below echoes the wisdom of the ancients:
“The boneless tongue, so small and weak,
Can crush and kill,” declares the Greek.
“The tongue destroys a greater horde,”
The Turk asserts, “than does the sword.”
The Persian proverb wisely saith,
“A lengthy tongue—an early death!”
Or sometimes takes this form instead,
“Don’t let your tongue cut off your head.”
“The tongue can speak a word whose speed,”
Say the Chinese, “outstrips the steed.”
The Arab sages said in part,
“The tongue’s great storehouse is the heart.”
From Hebrew was the maxim sprung.
“Thy feet should slip, but ne’er the tongue.”
The sacred writer crowns the whole,
“Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.” (unknown, referenced in Spurgeon’s The Salt Cellars)
