Respect is a virtue desperately needed in today’s world of rudeness. Its not just Aretha Franklin wishing for R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Rudeness at work is rampant, and it’s on the rise. Over the past 14 years we’ve polled thousands of workers about how they’re treated on the job, and 98 percent have reported experiencing uncivil behavior. In 2011 half said they were treated rudely [at work] at least once a week. [That’s a 100 percent increase from 1998.] (Christian Porath and Christine Pearson, “The Price of Incivility,” Harvard Business Review, January-February 2013)
Through a poll of 800 managers and employees they also discovered the costs of incivility. Among workers who have been on the receiving end of incivility:
- 48 percent decreased their work effort
- 47 percent decreased the time spent at work
- 80 percent lost work worrying about the incident
- 78 percent said their commitment to the organization declined
- 12 percent said they left their job because of the uncivil treatment
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The article in Harvard Business Review concluded with the following warning about incivility: “Just one habitually offensive employee critically positioned in your organization can cost you dearly in lost employees, lost customers, and lost productivity.” Rudeness is an issue that must be addressed, but teaching respect to adults is not much more difficult than teaching respect to children.
Parents must teach respect and pass along respect for authority to their children, since the home is the foundation for learning to respect authority. A child’s homelife either strengthens or weakens respect for authority and respect for people and respect for themselves. As a missionary kid in Africa and Taiwan, I learned the importance of respect not only toward authority, but for culture, language, people, and the Gospel.
How do you pass along the virtue of respect to your children? Here are seven ideas to help you.
#1 Be an example to your children by your speech, attitudes, and actions.
The respect you model will be followed; the disrespect you model will be followed. Love your spouse and respect your spouse’s authority. My parents modeled respect for authority, and my life benefited from those important lessons.
#2 Teach your children to respect YOUR authority.
You powerfully equip your kids to respect others when you teach them to respect your authority. If God gave you children, then He holds you responsible to act like a parent.
#3 Make time to train your family spiritually.
Spend time with your family as a group and make time for one-on-one, face-to-face encounters with your child. Don’t pass off your responsibility to be spiritually mature. Be the parent, the spiritual leader, of your home. A leader “must be in control of their own families, and they must see that their children are obedient and always respectful.” (1 Timothy 3:4 CEV) Operate your household with authority and love.
#4 Don’t allow unresolved conflicts or strained relationships to fester or boil.
You don’t want your prayers blocked or cut off (1 Peter 3:7). Don’t provoke your children to anger by your own harshness, unfairness, or insecurity.
#5 Discipline in love.
“A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them.” (Proverbs 13:24 MSG) Discipline immediately and consistently. “Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.” (Ephesians 6:4 GNT)
#6 Get a job or increase your income to support your children.
Provide the food and care your children need. Attend to the needs of your family. “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 NIV)
#7 Pray for your family daily, multiple times per day.
You know you ought to pray, you know God answers prayer, but are you actually praying for family? Lay hands on your kids and bless them before they leave for school or any activity. Your prayer cover inspires respect. Pray!
Evaluate yourself and remove hindrances to your parental leadership. You have the responsibility of teaching your children to respect authority. Your leadership at home is vital. The Maxwell Leadership Bible (p. 1442) alliterates six categories, six questions for evaluating your leadership in your home:
- Initiative: Do I give direction and take responsibility for my primary relationships?
- Intimacy: Do I experience intimacy with God and others through open conversation?
- Influence: Do I exercise Biblical influence by encouraging and developing others?
- Integrity: Do I lead an honest life, unashamed of who I am when no one is looking?
- Identity: Am I secure in who I am in Christ? Or am I defensive?
- Inner Character: Do I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in my life, including self-discipline?
