Christ-follower, Husband, Dad, Pastor

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March 9, 2013

Be the Right Person

Do you want to have a great marriage? Prepare early and start now. Start praying for your spouse now. “But I am not married yet” is no excuse for not praying. “But I am already married” is no excuse for not praying. Get it? Start now!

Single but wanting to get married? Ask God what are the qualities and characteristics that He wants in your spouse. Don’t let go of your vision! Use those characteristics as a guide to find the person God-picked for you. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. As you believe and pray, expect God to refine those desires. Allow Him to adjust unrealistic or dysfunctional thought patterns inside of you. When God gives you insight into the qualities that He wants in your spouse, hold on to that picture.

Long before you are married, use that list to help you weed out the ones that don’t match up. I had several things I knew God wanted for me in a partner. That list helped me, confirmed that Patti was the one for me. I can still remember my excitement as a student at Oral Roberts University, when I knew that she was the one. Patti is beautiful inside and out! I love my wife.

Singles, keep your standards high and live those standards. If you want to marry the right kind of person, BE that right kind of person.

That axiom applies to you that are already married. If you wish to be married to the right kind of person, be that right kind of person. It’s the Golden Rule – do to others as you would have them to do you. It’s virtuous practice – to see the change, be the change. It’s righteous routine – be holy for God is holy. It’s seed faith living – give of yourself first and expect God’s return.

Married but wanting to see a change in your relationship? Ask God what are the qualities and characteristics that He wants in your life. Don’t let go of your vision! Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. As you believe and pray, expect God to refine those desires. Allow Him to adjust unrealistic or dysfunctional thought patterns inside of you. Start with yourself but also invite the Holy Spirit to do His transformational work in your spouse. If God gives you insight into the qualities that He wants in your spouse, pray and hold on to that picture, but don’t try to do the Holy Spirit’s job.

March 8, 2013

Good Marriages Don’t Just Happen

Good marriages demand effort and attention. There is no magic trick to pull off a good marriage. If you want a good marriage, it takes work. A refrigerator can be plugged in the electrical outlet and run fine for years without maintenance, but marriage is NOT an appliance. Marriage is a God-ordained relationship that must be cultivated and cherished, never neglected.

Here are five areas that demand attention for a good marriage.

#1 PRAY TOGETHER: Release God to work in your marriage. You have not because you ask not. Pray together; stay together.

#2 TALK TOGETHER: Actually talk to one another about everything – feelings, frustrations, hopes, happiness. Turn off the media, look at one another, and have a conversation about life.

#3 EAT TOGETHER: Don’t let our society steal the connection that comes when people share food together. The early church benefited from eating together and you and your spouse will benefit too!

#4 PLAY TOGETHER: Play a game, watch movie, or take a walk. Spend time together on a short vacation. Do you share a hobby? When was your last date with your spouse?

#5 SERVE TOGETHER: Find an area where you and spouse can serve your local congregation together. Couples make great teams for evangelistic outreach, kids’ teaching, prayer ministry, usher helps, greeter smiles, nursery diaper-changing, mission trips, and more! Serve the House of God and serve your house. Share household responsibilities. Can you work together to get the house, the lawn, or the checkbook done?

Good marriages don’t just happen; they take work but God will help you. Allow the Lord to soften your heart.

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