My mom celebrated her 70th birthday at the end of last year. I am so honored to have been her son and for Patti and me to have been able to work alongside of her for so many years.
Someone emailed me “What My Mother Taught Me”in early 2000. I don’t know who originally wrote it, but I find myself laughing at it.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me INTERCESSION: “You better pray that this stain comes out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me LOGIC: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me FORESIGHT: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
My mother taught me IRONY: “Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
My mother taught me about GOODWILL: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who wish they have what you do!”
My mother taught me about OSMOSIS: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: “Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?!?”
My mother taught me about STAMINA: “You’ll sit there until all those peas are finished.”
My mother taught me about WEATHER: “It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: “If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?”
My mother taught me about EXAGGERATION: “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times!”
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: “Stop acting like Jerry!” (my dad)
